I realized I always get mad at you not because I hate you, actually it's far from that. What it really is I try so hard to make you happy. I would do absolutely anything to make you happy. What makes me angry is that I don't feel like you appreciate me or my efforts at all. I require nothing from you but to hear from you once in a while, and I would give you the world. It makes me realize that there is someone in the world who makes you happier than I do, no matter what I do or say, there is that person that is always able to give you more than I can and it makes me crazy because I'd do anything in the world to be that person.
In addition to that, when you decide not to talk to me for days, weeks, months, etc, you say that you stop talking to everyone, but it's not true because that same person that has the ability to make you happier than I can is the same person you still talk to when you're not talking to "everyone." I hate being "everyone." You can't say things like you've never lied to me and I'm the only person that's never made you angry yet consider me "everyone."
That's why I'm upset all the time, you make me feel like "everyone" when I'm not with you, so all my aggrivation comes out when I am with you.
A letter to him that I may or may not ever send him.
4/20/10 Posted at: Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Tags: rant
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7 comments:
May 14, 2010 7:17 PM
Funny how when I was reading your post, I almost felt like I could have written it myself.
At some point during some day I left behind, anyway.
June 10, 2010 2:10 PM
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June 11, 2010 11:23 AM
You are unhappy because you are coveting what someone else has-- a relationship that is meaningful with him.
If, instead, you could choose to say, "Thank You, G-d, for blessing him and her," you would begin to find freedom that will grow and grow.
Exodus 20:17
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."
June 13, 2010 11:58 AM
I can feel your pain through your words. It is hard when u love someone more than they love you. It hurts when you want so badly to be the apple of someones eye, but they look past you because of their own selfish ways. One thing that helps me is to really take a look a ME, without that person, and what the condition of my own spirit is. Once I begin to realize how much control one person is having over me, I remember that I deserve more, and realize its not my fault that they see the world through flawed eyes. Then, I look in the mirror, and smile. A big, cheesy wide smile, and know who I am.
June 13, 2010 12:06 PM
By the way, Anymous...quoting a scipture like that can be hurtful instead of helpful. This issue I think derserves not an admonision to create guilt and bitterness! Can't you see that this woman is crying out for love? Why make ppl believe that God does not care about the condition and intention of our hearts? She is expressing how a selfish man has jerked her around. I just wonder how many ppl are afraid to say their true feelings for fear of being judged instead of being given compassion. The book of Proverbs has much more to say on this issue, like advice on how to deal with sefish ppl, and it even states that a heart made sick with dissapointment can make you PHYSICALLY ill. I am frustrated at arrogance.
June 17, 2010 2:55 AM
It semms in depth-love generate dept-hate.You are not the half body of him and also he is not half body of yours.
July 29, 2010 5:55 PM
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